dorothy-cotton:

“lol get back in the kitchen” more like no woman will ever love you and you will die alone.

rotten-wood:

“I know I’m gong to regret this,” I whisper as I scroll down to the comments section on a serious article. 

(Source: double-dumb)

dadsgladtoday:

i’ve been using the internet for about 13 years and i still don’t know what an rss feed even is

churchofcheesus:

my headphones have reached that stage where you have to hold them off the empire state building at a 39.5 degree angle and chant an african prayer for both sides to work

12owls:

i think seventh grade was a dark time for everyone

loki-theking:

I don’t avoid eye contact because I’m shy.

I just want to avoid a Pokemon battle.

pxnic:

when the answers to a question on a test are in another question

(Source: hidddleston)

jackiefarrell:

top 5 most useful majors:

1. old money
2. president
3. wall street broker
4. media conglomerate CEO
5. being good friends w/ jay-z